Easter Madness

The easiest job in the world has just become easier, since the English department never offers (or forces) as many classes in the Spring. As a result I only have three English classes right now, plus the film class I just created for the heck of it (where I do very little real work). This allows me to concentrate on just 50 students, and the quality of my classes has improved massively and I have also started to come up with better and bolder activities. Certainly some of these have only had limited success. For example, I created a social game where half the class would portray citizens from different English-speaking countries and they would have to find their homeland (assigned to the other half). I attempted to make it organized by creating two concentric circles of students, one of which would rotate. But dealing with freshmen is like herding cats, especially when they are freshmen girls who don't like detaching themselves from their friends with whom they have had a symbiotic relationship since Day 1 of Xuexiao.

But one better idea I had was an Easter egg hunt to celebrate the season. Unfortunately a traditional hunt was out of the question, since there was no feasible way for me to boil enough eggs and then hide them. Instead I decided to combine my "Blindfold Hunt" with an Easter theme. In "Blindfold Hunt" teams of students work together to find an object in an open area. One is blindfolded while the other barks directions. I usually time them and then award a prize to the fastest group.

First of course we had to make the eggs. Plastic ones aren't available so I decided to spend a few kuai and boil about 8 per class. I also had to buy painting supplies. Fortunately the campus store had everything, including these great little paint trays.

With paint involved, I expected some sort of messy disaster (I couldn't find any smocks). Fortunately none of my students ruined their clothes. In fact, they were quite industrious and adept painters, far exceeding my skill--the night before, out some misguided (and exaggerated) sense of patriotism, I had attempted to make an "American Flag" egg which ended up a purple modernist piece. They were very methodical--first tracing their designs, then carefully applying paint and blowing to dry it faster. Of course if I had spent more time with my grandmother as a kid I would probably know how to do these things too. We ended up with some inspired designs:

The hunt was less organized. We tried it at the soccer field. While the class sat near the goal I had everyone place their eggs at random points around the goal box. Then I told the pairs to collect as many as they could (though I forgot the darn baskets). I spent most of the activity yelling at them when they directed in Chinese and making sure they didn't hurt themselves ("Blindfold Hunt" has had its share of near-misses). The problem with the game was that the rest of the class has nothing to do but watch and get bored. But when it became apparent that the eggs could get trodden on, I did volunteers from each painting group "defend" them. Of course I had to explain that defending them did not mean moving them when the hunter was about to find it. One student named "Ankle" decided to scatter theirs in pieces all over the turf in order to prevent discover. Their are always a few "bad eggs" in every group.

Ha ha.
Leb Wohl

Odd Habits of the Chinese Collegiate, pt. II

1. Calling Fouls. On ME! I may be one the worst basketball players on the planet, but seriously it's called DEFENSE and a little contact never hurt anybody. Maybe if they stopped watching the NBA so much they would know what it was. And Allen Iverson is not a good "favorite basketball player" so please take his picture off your phones.

2. The "shuffle." If on an appropriate surface, Chinese girls will elect to shuffle in short, quick bursts in order to reach their destination at the chalkboard.

3. If you are not completely skinny, you are a "little fat."

I Am Not Just A Pretty Face!

Though sometimes it seems as if that is what I am here for. The "foreign experts" at Jiang-Jishu are a hot commodity and I am pretty sure this is true throughout most of China. Please consider this telling pattern:

At one of the places that is considered a "bar" in Changzhou, I met this one guy who said his job was basically sitting in a glass cubicle playing solitaire while important customers were paraded past it. The teacher's office at WEB International English (my other job) also has glass walls. Just today a prospect was given a tour which included the "Waijiao" in their little glass cage. Coincidence? Perhaps not. If only there were some analogous situation...like some sort of park or area where visitors can come and watch creatures work and play in enclosed spaces...well, I'll think of it later.

At a college like Jiang-Jishu, which doesn't have that much going for it, it's always considered good business to display the foreigners. I have been on the website's homepage several times now. And as "foreign experts," we get asked to teach and present things that we are totally unqualified for. We are to keep the students entertained.

We also get invited to crazy things. The school and the adjacent hotel I live in always seem to host many odd events like the "Inspection and Quarantine Sub-Level Officials of Southeast Africa Conference (IQSLO-SEAC). Last week the school had the "2010 International Conference on Industry Engineering and Management." Guess who made the whole thing "international:"

This guy Sean, and his three white friends.

Oh and I think some of the Japanese teachers were there too. Basically my "boss" called me and the others asking us to go to some of the lectures. I wouldn't have missed this experience thing for the world, but the promise of a Baijiu-fueled banquet only sweetened the deal. When we got there we realized why we had been asked to go. Another person making it "international" was Dr. Horst, a German with close ties with the College who did a lecture on marketing. It was the one thing I could comprehend that whole morning. Another Chinese lecturer gave a powerpoint in English. However that soon proved useless:

Apparently concepts like group decision-making can be expressed through calculus.

Anyway, as nice as it is to feel important now and then, sometimes I feel a tad exploited as a spectacle, like the poor monkey I see being dragged around on a leash when I go downtown. I suppose it could be worse. I get paid and go to banquets. Monkeys at the zoo don't.

Oh. THAT'S the word I was looking for.

Leb Wohl