Are Your Slopes Well-Managed?

 

Hong Kong is built on and around mountainous terrain and suffers the occassional typhoon, thus there is the constant threat of LANDSLIP. Land-slippage is a serious problem in this part of the world, but fortunately the city has mastered slope maintanence, an underappreciated field of geoengineering. Each individual slope in Hong Kong is identified and given its own unique number, then reinforced with hardened walls of confortable, flexible material that conform to its curves. A system of steps and ladders give slope managers easy access; therefore, when monsoon season arrives, each slope may get the immediate care it needs. I have a slope just outside my window. Each morning I greet it and wish it a good day. It's important to keep your slope happy, or else it could turn on you.

A Walk in the Country Park

Despite packing over seven million people into a mere thousand or so square kilometers, Hong Kong is a surprisingly-green Chinese* city. The main reason the metropolis, which is about the size of NYC, is the fourth-most densely-populated place on the planet is because its denizens are neatly stacked wherever the land is somewhat somewhat horizontal, which is almost nowhere. The majority of the SAR is rugged and mountainous and prone to LANDSLIP, forcing the human beings to be containerized in towering Mega-Blocks (called "Estates"), while mother nature continues to have free reign in the city's many country parks.

The view from Terabithia

On weekends the citizenry enjoys hiking and picnicking in their park of choice, which is normally not to far away from their Mega-Block. My local preserve, the vast Lion Rock Country Park, is obscure enough to avoid an infestation of the foreign joggers (usually balding British men) or Mainland noveau riche with their Nikons. These types tend to clog the trails on HK Island. Lion Rock is the place for Hong Kong residents to escape the confines of their cellular flats for a pleasant afternoon under the subtropical flora and fau-

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MONKEYS! Goddamn MONKEYS everywhere! Monkeys...monkeys...monkeys...MONKEYS! Monkeys can be found all over Hong Kong, not just in the IKEAs. And they are wonderful; they are like the squirrels of Southeast Asia but infinitely more fun because they are so intelligent. However most Hong Kongers seem to consider them pests (where is their sense of joy?!) due to their kleptomania. I've seen them thwart the defenses of many an irate Cantonese aunt in their perpetual quest for people food. Feeding them is discouraged, but it matters not. They have tasted our prawn-flavored chips and will not return to stupid bugs and berries! And they know where the gettin's good. You can walk through most of a park and not see one dang macaque, only to be swarmed by a tribe of them at the BBQ area. What's that rummaging in the trash bin? A monkey. Who's that glaring at your sweet bun from the roof? Monkey, that's who. Their ninjitsu is so refined, so quick, that all a picnicker can do is yell and flail and throw things at them, which they will deftly catch and try to eat. I love monkeys.