Odd Habits of the Chinese Collegiate, Part I

Over the semester I have begun to notice several unique trends and habits that my students have, so I thought I should start documenting them:

1.  Wearing only the frames of eyeglasses.  Apparently glass-less glasses are "in" amongst the Chinese hip.  I find spectacles make one look very distinguished, so I normally wouldn't be flabbergasted if so many of them didn't wear contacts at the same time.  If you dig the nerdy look, then why the dickens couldn't you just leave the lenses in and spare yourself the hassle of sticking a piece of plastic to your cornea?

2.  Bringing up the year 2012 in every single assignment or activity.  Chinese students are very impressionable.  Or they may just have really bad taste in movies.  Either way we should probably stop exporting entertainment based on pseudo-science and pseudo-myth over here.

More to come!

Leb Wohl

Jawohl Mein Teacher!--We Mention the War and More

You know you’re halfway across the world when students idolize a mass-murderer in  a midterm project.  My students' assignments were to create a political party running for office in a struggling country known as “Petoria” (technically Family Guy coined this name before I did.)  It was something I hadn’t tried before and it was a great opportunity to subliminally indoctrinate them with ideas about governments with more than just one political party.  I gave them some issues to address in their platforms: environmental and economic decline, poverty, and a war with Belgium.

Most of the parties were pretty ordinary and the solutions they promised airy and vague (yep, they hit the nail right on the head).  Some of these had a few good ideas, like raising the retirement age and spreading awareness about the importance of the environment.  However, some of them were quite inspired, such as the “Slim Party,” which advocated that girls should lose more weight in order to attract rich husbands, therefore protecting themselves against economic recession.  The “Fruit Party” not only solved every single problem with a diet heavier in fruits, but also reduced the nation's risk of cancer.

Then there was the “Hitler Party.”  Leave it to my English majors to suggest the policies of a genocidal dictator to solve Petoria’s problems.  And they had some good arguments to boot. By emulating Hitler' s militarism, they would continue the war against Belgium in order to boost the economy. Sure, he completely devastated Europe, but not before he brought Germany out of the Depression.   “After all,” said one, “the US did the same thing by invading Iraq.”  I informed them that though their point was valid, it actually didn’t work in that case.  As a means to improve the environment they suggested exporting all pollutants to developing countries.  And all traitors would be shot without due process, etc.

Western political correctness doesn’t exist in China—which is why I love it.  Of course there are a number of other issues you have to avoid—Tibet, Taiwan, etc.—but National Socialism is not one of them. Despite the fact that these “superfans” of the Führer were being funny, I did try to emphasize just how diabolical the man was.  When it comes to World War II and the subject of genocide, Chinese students dwell mostly (and intensely) on Japanese atrocities like the Nanking massacre.  

Acts of oppression outside of China are sometimes completely unheard of.  None of my students last semester were aware of the Iranian protests.  At the same time the catastrophic experiments of Mao and the CCP, like the Cultural Revolution, are usually downplayed using the old 60-40 argument (60% of what he did was good, 40% was bad).  Of course when it comes to my students, much of this could just be adolescent indifference (and a little harmless state-controlled media brain-washing).  Regardless, sometimes I find myself trying to break the Chinese "bubble" and debate violence and oppression with them in a more international perspective.

Leb Wohl.

I Quit

I quit this week for about 40 minutes.  My juniors had their second to last class on Tuesday, so I decided to do something extra special--I gave them authority.  I told them bluntly that I was now a student and that they needed to elect new teachers from their number.  It made sense; Of all my classes they were the ones most likely to actually be brave and rise to the challenge (or volunteer their classmates, which is usually what happens).  After a few awkward minutes there were two volunteers.

Now just because I let them be teachers did not mean I trusted them entirely.  Left to their own devices, who knows what could have happened (if given little more time, I would have tried that approach too.)  So, I did give them a sheet listing a few requirements.  They had to do a debate and a game, but they could choose which ones.

We managed to have two debates, which went pretty well.  First up was the age-old dispute of "love vs. money--which one is the most important?"  When it comes to romance, my students are always idealistic, so at first only one person favored money and I had to jump in to even the odds.   Some of my more reticent students even got involved and I saw passion that I had not seen before.  

I forget what the second one was.  I think it was "sex before marriage" or something.  By then I was too busy trying to be as naughty as possible, hoping to provoke some disciplinary action from the substitute teachers (and partly out of revenge--though this class was my best-behaved).  This involved texting, mock-hitting on my female classmates, and of course, speaking Chinese.

All in all I would say it was a success, even if a bit disorganized.  I had fun.

Leb Wohl