Well, that was stupid.

So long story short, a tragedy brought me back to NC for about two weeks. A lot occurred during that homecoming, most of which is simply too sensitive to talk about right here. However, one spectacular instance of misfortune is simply too ridiculously stupid not to complain about.

So here goes-- during this time circumstances left me de facto in charge of the Youngblood Family Farm. One day I made the boneheaded move of agreeing to move our great tax deductions, aka the cattle, to a low-lying field next to the river which we endearingly call "the bottoms." Unfortunately neither I nor my reliable help, Bobby and Harris, anticipated the amount of rain we would be getting over the next few days and on Sunday night it rained so much that the river crested and turned "the bottoms" into a new pretty lake.

Thus that morning we discovered the cattle trapped in about 3-4 feet of water. Ok, we made a mistake (#1 of 2), but we were confident we could get them out, we just weren't sure how. We called them, but the stubborn bovines wouldn't move, even though it was perfectly calm, allowing them to wade through it. I''d also like to add that these wusses were the same polled herefords that had, only 2 days earlier, happily rushed into a pond while we were moving them down there in the first place.

But no, we had to go and get them. Now, we didn't want to just wade out there, so another friend brought a boat. But here's where more stupidity ensues. Some tractor repair guys (don't ask me how they came to be there) suggested we ride one of the John Deere tractors out to them. I agreed, even though 4 people could have probably fit on the boat. So I went and got the tractor, which turned out to be tragically undersized (though it was one of our biggest)

I drove the tractor into Bottoms Lake, with the repair guys riding on the back, taking care to not get stuck in the ditches (ironically meant to drain the fields when it rains). We got within about ten meters of the herd, when boom, we hit a sudden deep spot and the engine, now partly submerged, stalled.

So we ended up swimming anyway.

We got them out, but by that point the cattle were the smaller problem--the water was getting rising and soon the tractor would become a freshwater coral reef. The repair guys, feeling just a bit guilty I think, offered the best solution: go get a bigger tractor.



Fortunately, they had one (I'm sure they'd planned this all along). Within a half-hour, they had brought a massive, thrice-as-big Ford, rather dubiously named "Deere Slayer." It took them about 15 minutes to rescue the JD.

Sighhhh....leb wohl